Tonight is the winter finale of How to Get Away with Murder, AKA our fave new show. If you don’t watch it, who the fuck are you. Supposedly we will be finding out who killed Lila (the coked out, pregnant sorority girl), who killed Sam (Annalise’s sketch as fuck husband and also Lila’s secret boyfriend), and who’s going to get blamed for it all (probably Wes because he’s poor). All we know for sure is that shit is going down and that Connor will look good while it happens.
Even though everything is completely up in the air, because Shonda Rhimes creates plot lines more intricate than our getting ready process, we have a few predictions of things that will most likely happen.
1. Wes is going to wear a fugly plaid shirt.
Like we get it, you’re on scholarship. We don’t need a reminder every single episode. You have to have some old Hogwarts uniforms lying around, which would be preferable at this point.
2. Bonnie is going to admit to her big lesbian crush on Annalise.
Even though she’s been eye fucking Sam all season long, last episode we learned that Bonnie is eternally loyal to Annalise and also really good at embarrassing displays of emotion. It doesn’t matter what you do to your hair or who you sleep with (really though, Asher?), you’ll always be Paris Gellar to us.
3. Rebecca is going to fuck up her defense. Again.
Seriously, what are you doing. Annalise Keating is your lawyer. In case you didn’t notice, she always wins, even if she has to take down senators and the patriarchy to do it. She literally teaches a class named How to Get Away with Murder, which coincidentally is what you are on trial for. Stop playing Sherlock with her ex-fuck buddy and just let the woman to do her job.
4. Frank is going to breathe heavily in the vicinity of Laurel.
Ew. Just ew. That beard. The weird three piece suits. The fact that he’s a fucking 30-year-old lawyer who probably makes bank but has to stoop to seducing law students. Also, the man needs some boundaries. If any bro took a naked selfie and set it as his caller ID on my phone, I’d be out of their faster than you could say “bye, Felicia.”
5. Conor is going to fuck someone.
Apparently Conor is enough of a sex God to turn half of his boarding school gay, which means he is allotted one soft core porn scene per episode.
6. Whatever your prediction is, it’ll be wrong.
After ten seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and four seasons of Scandal, I’ve learned that when it come to Shonda Rhimes, you are never right. Stop trying and just let it happen.