Aren’t families the best?
You’ve been promising to go home for months. You can’t avoid it any longer. It’s time to hop on that train.
1. You inevitably arrive late, which makes everyone very angry.
2. Within moments of walking through the front door, you’re fixing someone’s phone.
3. Your reward? A running commentary of every grainy photograph they’ve taken in the last 12 months.
4. You soon discover that your bedroom has been entirely redecorated…
5. … and all your childhood belongings have been thrown away.
6. To compensate, your mum tries to give you every item of clothing she’s thinking of throwing out.
7. Followed by all of her old glass ornaments and wall hangings.
8. Eventually you all sit down to eat.
9. Someone has a new, problematic dietary requirement. This causes a lot of stress.
10. You spend most of dinner explaining what the Internet is…
11. … telling everyone that you don’t plan on moving back home anytime soon…
12. … and that you don’t know why you’re still single, thanks so much for asking.
13. It’s time to empty the dishwasher. Stress levels hit a new high as you fight over who should do it.
14. Meanwhile, your parents have more questions. Have you put on weight?
15. Is it time to book a hair appointment?
16. When are you planning on getting a real job?
17. After dinner, embarrassing coming-of-age stories are told.
18. You have never heard any of them before so they are very interesting and not at all repetitive.
19. At this point, at least one of your parents will overshare and you’ll learn something you really didn’t need to know.
20. Then they’ll attempt to explain an incredibly complicated political situation in a single sentence.
21. After you’ve eaten, you’ll probably take some fun photographs.
22. You’ll fight over the remote control…