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15 Things Nobody Tells You About Being A Parent

15 Things Nobody Tells You About Being A Parent


No matter how much you prepare, you can never be fully ready.

1. You will get so little sleep that you eventually forget how to sleep.

You will then spend your former sleeping hours assembling elaborate 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzles.

2. You will become your parents, and your parents will become sand.

All those things your parents did that you said you’d never do? You’re gonna do them. Also, your parents will spontaneously burst into piles of sand.

3. You will occasionally mistake a pineapple for your child and take it to the country’s best doctors to find out why it isn’t moving or speaking.

Don’t be embarrassed. These things happen.

4. You will change as many as four diapers.

You’ll be counting down the days till they’re potty-trained.

5. You will realize that a cooler stuffed with couch cushions is wayyy cheaper than a crib.

Bonus: Your baby doesn’t melt.

6. You will discover that a knife is just a baby-size sword and feel stupid for having commissioned a blacksmith to make all those tiny swords.

It happens to all of us. You think, I should get some tiny swords made for my baby, and then the second they’re delivered to your house, it occurs to you: knife drawer, doofus!

7. Your baby’s thoughts will sometimes broadcast from your TV at a terrifying volume.

If storm clouds start rolling in and all your light bulbs start flickering, look out—it’s about to happen.

8. Your baby’s first words will be “Built Ford Tough,” but you’ll just lie and tell everyone it was “mom.”

It’s perfectly natural that sharing something like that with others would make you uncomfortable.

9. You can’t tour with Los Lonely Boys.

There’s simply not enough time. The Grammy-winning rockers will just have to do without you.

10. Sometimes babies turn inside out when they sleep.

It’ll scare you at first, but once you realize it’s normal, you’ll think it’s pretty cute.

11. Sometimes your baby comes out teriyaki.

It’s unfortunate, but sometimes you just end up leaving the delivery room with a different kind of kid than you wanted.

12. You will become THAT parent who checks their baby as luggage at the airport.

Start empathizing with them now, because that will be you someday.

13. You will realize that, actually, a fire hydrant is a perfectly acceptable babysitter.

Say what you will, but they get the job done.

14. Your baby can hold way less water than you’d imagine.

Three gallons, tops.

15. Your love for your child will be so intense that sometimes glass shatters.

If panes of glass don’t occasionally explode when you walk by, chances are you’re just not a good parent.

Read more: http://www.clickhole.com/article/15-things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-parent-1758

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Literally Amazing! This Incredible Dad Loved His Family So Much He Got Eye Enlargement Surgery So He Could Look At Them More

Literally Amazing! This Incredible Dad Loved His Family So Much He Got Eye Enlargement Surgery So He Could Look At Them More


Meet David Eckstrom, a husband and father from Fort Worth, TX, living with his wife and two children. David was a normal family man until last month, when he went from regular dad to Super Dad: David loved his family so much that he got eye enlargement surgery so that he could look at them more.

Eckstrom’s surgeon, Dr. Eric Barnhart, said that he was moved by his patient’s desire to see his family more, and gladly performed the procedure.

“Most dads are content to just look at their family the normal amount, but David is a special kind of father,” said Dr. Barnhart. “He loves his family so much that he was willing to undergo extremely invasive surgery to make his eyes wider and his pupils bigger, just so he could see his wife and children more. As a father myself, I aspire to be like him.”

The results were amazing, and this heroic family man said that his new eyes have been a change for the better. “My life has completely transformed since the surgery!” said Eckstrom. “Whether I’m looking at my wife when I wake up in the morning or watching my kids play, I’m seeing my family more than ever. This was definitely the right choice.”

Next time you start losing your faith in humanity, just remember that there are heroic fathers like David Eckstrom who are always trying to look at their families as much as possible. That should be enough to get you through the day.

Read more: http://www.clickhole.com/article/literally-amazing-incredible-dad-loved-his-family–769